Jokes and Funny Stories Site

now, for the first time ever, you have the opportunity to not only SEE, but to actually PAY the AMAZING _GIRL_! I can put together a computer from garbage! I can dance a really dumb dance! I can make microwave popcorn! I can design web sites! I can carry boxes! I can move furniture! I can feed fish without over-feeding them so as to leave too much food and soil the water with unsightly brown and/or green algaes! I can tie my own shoes, and yours, too! I can write much better than this, but it's 3AM! I can wash dishes really well! I can wait your table! I can tell you a really bad joke! I can run your store! I can tell you a better joke! I can walk your dog! I can clean your embarassingly grungy bathroom! I can hit you! I can introduce you to my alter-ego, the 31337 h4x0r sup4-\/aR3z p1mp n3ga7i/3 zer0! ph33r me! I can set the clock on your VCR, TiVO, DVD+R, or whatever you have! Step up, step, up, don't be shy! Come and PAY the AMAZING _GIRL_! Seriously, i'll do almost anything for money. I have experience in a lot of fields, honestly, but i'm out of a job right now. Make me an offer, tell me what you want me to do. I'm honestly the best at computer-type stuff and writing (yes, I promise, I write better than this), but i can carry heavy stuff without it hurting (or at least i'll act like it doesn't hurt) and i have retail sales experience. I've sold stuff on ebay, and i like building computers. I really must go to bed now, but seriously, i'll do like anything. Have a business or website you want promoted? i'll put on a funny outfit and parade around doing whatever to promote it. just lemme know. (you can see i'm getting tireder by the second here, so i'm off to bed).

OR, I can do nothing and you can pay me everything! (read previous blog post).