Tuesday, April 04, 2006
To Spammers Everywhere
While I'm not fond of the spam, I understand it's a job; and in this economy, a job that pays the bills is to be appreciated.
Since I seem to get over 100 spam emails a day, I consider myself quite knowledgeable. Here's a few suggestions for you to make your spamming more successful:
1. Emailing me the same message 40 times in one day doesn't make me read them. It's just as easy to click the button that says delete all messages as it is to delete only one. Basically, I'm telling you this so you can save some time- it must take a few seconds to repeatedly send out the same message to thousands of addresses.
2. I'm a woman. I have no desire to increase my penis size, or make my erections last longer. Please market your "goods" to the appropriate demographic. I'm sure you got that info from whatever mailing list you purchased my email address from- why not use it?
3. Sending me an email that appears to have been sent from my email address doesn't make me read it. Are you really banking on the thought that I forgot that I sent myself an email about how to make thousands of dollars working from home? First of all, I don't generally send email to myself. If I did, I'm generally going to remember doing it. So why not just put the real email address there?
4. Your newest trick- saying the email is from "Sally" regarding "Tim" (feel free to change the names to whichever ones you're using- I get a variety of them). Clever, but really- do you think we're going to fall for that? In most cases, you're not even using common names. How many Kellys have a friend named Sarota sending them emails about a guy named Jawad? I'm guessing not many. So everyone else will just delete it without opening it. And since your spam has nothing to do with Jawad, why not just be up front with what it's about? Just once, I'd like to see an email titled "yeah, it's more spam, but why not take a look?"... you know what- I would probably look at it!
5. At least try to be creative. If you've got to spam, can you at least entertain me? There's nothing worse than getting spam from "lkdjrfoweir" with a subject titled "jjkkkkkwww"... yeah- it doesn't really make me want to read it.
6. Again, I'm a woman. Not that you'd know my sexuality, but the majority of the population is heterosexual. So sending out nude photos of women isn't going to lure most of us women in. Save that for the men.
7. Titling the subject line "re:" doesn't make me think that you're responding to an email I sent you.
Bottom line, if you must inconvenience me, can you at least have the courtesy to get it right?
Since I seem to get over 100 spam emails a day, I consider myself quite knowledgeable. Here's a few suggestions for you to make your spamming more successful:
1. Emailing me the same message 40 times in one day doesn't make me read them. It's just as easy to click the button that says delete all messages as it is to delete only one. Basically, I'm telling you this so you can save some time- it must take a few seconds to repeatedly send out the same message to thousands of addresses.
2. I'm a woman. I have no desire to increase my penis size, or make my erections last longer. Please market your "goods" to the appropriate demographic. I'm sure you got that info from whatever mailing list you purchased my email address from- why not use it?
3. Sending me an email that appears to have been sent from my email address doesn't make me read it. Are you really banking on the thought that I forgot that I sent myself an email about how to make thousands of dollars working from home? First of all, I don't generally send email to myself. If I did, I'm generally going to remember doing it. So why not just put the real email address there?
4. Your newest trick- saying the email is from "Sally" regarding "Tim" (feel free to change the names to whichever ones you're using- I get a variety of them). Clever, but really- do you think we're going to fall for that? In most cases, you're not even using common names. How many Kellys have a friend named Sarota sending them emails about a guy named Jawad? I'm guessing not many. So everyone else will just delete it without opening it. And since your spam has nothing to do with Jawad, why not just be up front with what it's about? Just once, I'd like to see an email titled "yeah, it's more spam, but why not take a look?"... you know what- I would probably look at it!
5. At least try to be creative. If you've got to spam, can you at least entertain me? There's nothing worse than getting spam from "lkdjrfoweir" with a subject titled "jjkkkkkwww"... yeah- it doesn't really make me want to read it.
6. Again, I'm a woman. Not that you'd know my sexuality, but the majority of the population is heterosexual. So sending out nude photos of women isn't going to lure most of us women in. Save that for the men.
7. Titling the subject line "re:" doesn't make me think that you're responding to an email I sent you.
Bottom line, if you must inconvenience me, can you at least have the courtesy to get it right?
